Thursday, June 23, 2011

Long Overdue Update from the Munson Household

It is hard to believe that nine weeks ago today, my Miss. Kinsley was born. The joy and love I feel is indescribable. I have sat down to write a few thoughts so many times but I never quite finish articulating the emotions that I have experienced since giving birth.

To say that nothing can fully prepare you for motherhood is an understatement! I felt rather prepared and confident before Kinsley arrived but suddenly, afterwards, I felt the complete opposite! I realized afterwards that perfection in motherhood is impossible and that, despite my best efforts, sometimes things just don't go as planned. A few thoughts and observations I have had since having Kinsley.....

1.) As a Christian, I feel increasingly close to Christ myself and feel drawn to promote a Christ-centered environment for Kinsley more than ever! I want her to grow knowing that someone more amazing than me and Andrew (lol!) exist and loves her unconditionally. It is perhaps my most important mission in life now.

2.) Everyone does things differently and so, I must derive confidence in my OWN decisions to parent Kinsley. It is amazing how many different choices you must make, pretty much every single day. I have driven myself crazy researching something because there are always several different arguments out there. Sometimes I feel insecure in a decision and become concerned that others will judge me but, at the end of the day, I have to remind myself: who cares! I need to feel secure in my own ability to make judgments and decisions. I am not a moron afterall.

3.) It is crazy how quickly priorities change. I admit, I LOVE talking on the phone and I have a group of "regulars" I talk with rather frequently. Now, I am lucky if I talk with just ONE person a day and more likely than not, that one person will likely be my mother! I tend to be "a dollar short and a day late" most of the time anyway but now, NEVERMIND! I have responded to text messages several days after they have been sent and sometimes just don't get back to someone who has called me. When I do have a spare minute, I want to pick up the phone but then that scary word kicks in: PRIORITIES! I opt for a shower or a nice long teethbrushing instead.

4.) Sarah Palin and I finally have something in common: we are both "mamma grizzly's." The intense instinct to protect Kinsley from harm and to promote peace and tranquility as much as possible is unavoidable. I have always been an insomniac but since giving birth, it has become increasingly difficult to sleep, even when I can! I check on her frequently and just want to make sure she is okay. There is nothing I wouldn't do to protect her.

5.) I can finally understand why my mom might forgo something she wants or needs in exchange for us children getting something we need. I would sacrifice about anything for Kinsley. It reminds me of the definition of - Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. ~Ambrose Bierce

A funny example of this just happened last week. I went shopping at Target for groceries and while there, I discovered something I wanted Kinsley to get. Now, we have a very specific budget for groceries and so I knew I couldn't get it. Well, I did get it but just didn't get a lot of groceries. Nevertheless, I didn't get in trouble for going over budget because I didn't :-)

6.) Lastly, being a mother isn't all fun and games. It is the most difficult job on this planet and with it comes smiles and tears. I wasn't expecting the emotional rollercoaster I would find myself on after Kinsley was born. Thankfully, my hormones are finally stabilizing but OMGoodness, I am so glad that rollercoaster is finally slowing down.

3 comments:

  1. Kim, I just love you. I know you are as selfless as a mother as you are a friend and family member. And BTW, you will continue to gain confidence. It is scary, isn't it? Be sure to reach out to other women who are moms you respect.

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  2. Good post Kim! I can totally relate to researching something to death only to become more stressed out about it. I had some wonderful friends to encourage me to listen to my own heart and not the "experts"! Much love to all of you!

    Abby

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  3. LOVE your post!! You area fabulous mother and you're right, NOTHING can prepare you for it. Go with your gut and 99% of the time you'll be right. The other 1% (or more, ha ha) is just something to learn from. No one knows Kinsley like you and Andrew, always remember that. OMG, your post made me tear up. It's sooo true, you should be a writer : ). We love you!
    Krista

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